Monthly Archives: November 2006

PSIKOLOGI

sekarang yati bertugas sebagai seorang tenaga pengajar kat pusat pengajian teknikal. yati plak memang graduate dlm bidang teknikal, tetapi tidak ada iktisas dalam proses menyampaikan ilmu kepada para pelajar. so every schoolbreak within 3 week n 2 times a year yati should attend the course. yala, untuk memantapkan proses pengajaran n pembelajaran. bila gi kursus ni baru la tau yang bnyak kaedah yang kita guna tidak betul. diantara kursus2 yg terpaksa yati ikut ialah psikologi. hmmm… bidang ni memang dari dulu lagi menarik minat yati. ntahla…i like to read books about human psikology. psikologi bi adalah satu bidang yang menarik kerana kita bukan saja boleh pakai kat diri kita tetapi juga pada orang lain. antara pensyarah kami ialah en. muhammad yusof, tadi dia ada bertanyakan kawan yati(gal) “awak takut tak kegelapan”. kawan yati tu “jawab takut encik mcmmna encik tahu”. encik itu tidak menjawab soalan kawan yati tu, tp dia memberitahu bila kita mengiakan hipotesis yang dibuat oleh seseorang kepada diri kita berdasarkan sifat kita, sebenarnya kita telah menyerahkan diri kita kepada orang tersebut. contohnya, bila kawan yati mengaku yang dia takut akan kegelapan, dan kemudian jika encik tadi mengaitakan ketakutan kawan yati akan kegelapan dengan sifat peribadinya dan kemudian kawan yati membenarkannya maka kawan yati telah membenarkan dirinya dikuasai oleh encik tadi. apa yant nak konsi ialah yati pernah mengalaminya sekali,  kesannya amat parah juga sehingga boleh mencalar maruah diri. ingatlah bahawa dunia bukan sentiasa lurus terhadap kita, kita mesti menjadi bijak dalam mentafsirkannya tetapi kita mesti sentiasa lurus dalam menguruskan dunia dengan kebijaksanaan kita. semoga ianya menjadi pengajaran dalam hidup yati di masa2 akan datang. “knowledge is power when applied”

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10 AMALAN TERBAIK TETAPI TERBALIK

Marilah kita bermuhasabah atau menilai dan menghitung kembali tentang amalan harian kita. Kadang-kadang kita akan dapati amalan kita adalah terbalik atau bertentangan dari apa yang patut dilakukan dan dituntut oleh Islam. Mungkin kita tidak sedar atau telah dilalaikan atau terikut-ikut dengan budaya hidup orang lain. Perhatikan apa yang dipaparkan dibawah sebagai contoh amalan yang terbalik:-

1. Amalan kenduri arwah beberapa malam yang dilakukan oleh keluarga simati selepas sesuatu kematian (malam pertama, kedua, ketiga, ketujuh dan seterusnya) adalah terbalik dari apa yang dianjurkan oleh Rasulullah di mana Rasulullah telah menganjurkan jiran tetangga memasak makanan untuk keluarga simati untuk meringankan kesusahan dan kesedihan mereka.

Keluarga tersebut telah ditimpa kesedihan, terpaksa pula menyedia makanan dan belanja untuk mereka yang datang membaca tahlil. Tidakkah mereka yang hadir makan kenduri tersebut khuatir kalau-kalau mereka termakan harta anak yatim yang ditinggalkan oleh simati atau harta peninggalan simati yang belum dibahagikan kepada yang berhak menurut Islam?

2. Kalau hadir ke kenduri walimatul urus (kenduri kahwin) orang kerap Assalamu’alaikum berisi (hadiah wang yang diberi semasa bersalam). Kalau tak ada duit nak dikepit dalam tangan, maka segan ia nak pergi makan kenduri. Tetapi kalau ia menziarah orang mati, tidak segan pula Assalamu’alaikum tak berisi. Sepatutnya kalau menziarah keluarga si matilah kita patut memberi sedekah. Kalau ke kenduri kahwin, tak bagi pun tak apa kerana tuan rumah panggil untuk diberi makan bukan untuk ia menambah pendapatan.

3. Ketika menghadiri majlis pemimpin negara kita berpakaian cantik kemas dan segak tetapi bila mengadap Allah baik di rumah maupun di masjid, pakaian lebih kurang saja bahkan ada yang tak berbaju. Tidakkah ini suatu perbuatan yang terbalik.

4. Kalau menjadi tetamu di rumah orang dan di beri jamuan, kita rasa segan nak makan sampai habis apa yang dihidangkan kerana rasa segan dan malu, sedangkan yang dituntut dibanyakkan makan dan dihabiskan apa yang dihidang supaya tuan rumah rasa gembira dan tidak membazir.

5. Kalau bersolat sunat di masjid amat rajin, tapi kalau di rumah, sangat malas. Sedangkan sebaik-baiknya solat sunat banyak dilakukan di rumah seperti yang dianjurkan oleh Rasulullah untuk mengelakkan rasa riak.

6. Bulan puasa adalah bulan mendidik nafsu termasuk nafsu makan yang berlebihan tetapi kebanyakan orang mengaku bahawa dalam carta perbelanjaan setiap rumah orang Islam akan kita dapati perbelanjaan di bulan puasa adalah yang tertinggi dalam setahun. Sedangkan sepatutnya perbelanjaan di bulan puasa yang terendah. Bukankah terbalik amalan kita?

7. Kalau nak mengerjakan haji, kebanyakan orang akan membuat kenduri sebelum bertolak ke Mekah dan apabila balik dari Mekah tak buat kenduri pun. Anjuran berkenduri dalam Islam antaranya ialah kerana selamat dari bermusafir, maka dibuat kenduri, bukan kerana nak bermusafir, maka dibuat kenduri. Bukankah amalan ini terbalik? Atau kita mempunyai tujuan lain.

8. Semua ibubapa amat bimbang kalau-kalau anak mereka gagal dalam periksa. Maka dihantarlah ke kelas tuisyen walau pun banyak belanjanya. Tapi kalau anak tak boleh baca Quran atau solat, tak bimbang pula bahkan tak mahu hantar tuisyen baca Quran atau kelas khas mempelajari Islam. Kalau guru tuisyen sanggup dibayar sebulan RM20.00 satu pelajaran 8 kali hadir tapi kepada Tok Guru Quran nak bayar RM15.00 sebulan 20 kali hadir belajar pun menggeletar tangan.

Bukankah terbalik amalan kita? Kita sepatutnya lebih berbimbang jika anak tidak dapat baca Al Quran atau bersolat dari tidak lulus periksa.

9. Kalau bekerja mengejar rezeki Allah tak kira siang malam, pagi petang, mesti pergi kerja. Hujan atau ribut tetap diharungi kerana hendak mematuhi peraturan kerja. Tapi ke rumah Allah (masjid) tak hujan, tak panas, tak ribut pun tetap tak datang ke masjid. Sungguh tak malu manusia begini, rezeki Allah diminta tapi nak ke rumahNya segan dan malas.

10. Seorang isteri kalau nak keluar rumah samada dengan suami atau tidak, bukan main lagi berhias. Tetapi kalau duduk di rumah, masyaAllah.
Sedangkan yang dituntut seorang isteri itu berhias untuk suaminya, bukan berhias untuk orang lain. Perbuatan amalan yang terbalik ini membuatkan rumahtangga kurang bahagia.

Cukup dengan contoh-contoh di atas. Marilah kita berlapang dada menerima hakikat sebenarnya. Marilah kita beralih kepada kebenaran agar hidup kita menurut landasan dan ajaran Islam yang sebenar bukan yang digubah mengikut selera kita.

Allah yang mencipta kita maka biarlah Allah yang menentukan peraturan hidup kita.

Sabda Rasullullah SAW: “Sampaikanlah dariku walaupun satu ayat.” (Riwayat Bukhari)

“THE WAY OF LOVE” & “TIME”

“THE WAY OF LOVE”
The prophet’s path the way of love
Only by this Love U’ll rise above

Like a dove that’s been set free
Love with longing is the key
This love with longing is the key
Honey, nectar, sweetness and cream
Orchids blooming by a mountain stream
Starlit skies and waves on the sand
Next to love they can’t stand
Next to this love they can not stand
Ya Rabbii yaa sarii’ar ridho irham man ro-su maalihir-rojaa
Wa thina maa qod sa-alnaa bi liqoo-i khoiril anaami
Ya khoiral a’anaami
yaa man-ismuhu dawa wa dzikruhu syifaa-un lana
Robbiy faj’al mujtama’na ghoyatuhu husnul khitami
Bihusnil khitami
How can I find a way to express
Something that cannot be thought or guessed
Something more than just words?
This love is neither seen nor heard
This love is neither seen nor heard
Love is the rope given by Allah
It will save U for every flaw
Grasp it then He will draw U near  by Hadad Alwi & DEBU

“TIME”
Driving past, walking fast
To the field of dreams, hear the children screams
Every corner represents, a different image in my mind
A momentary emotion, spacebanked in time
In time
memories fade like a dusty window pain
and U can’t see U past no more
The only thing that remains is that feeling of warmth
In ur heart that will always….be there
An immortal smile, stays only for a while
But down the line, it strengthens us inside
We all live the illusion, on many days to come
Not realising that tomorrow lies with Allah
The only one, the only one
Times goes by on the wings of a butterfly
and what goes with it is all that U have
So take the best of every man

Getting to commitement by Steven Carter with Julia Sokol.

            Alhamdulillah, has finished read this book yesterday in order to effort to improve my English language, to add English vocabulary and get the messages from the authors.  Roughly this book all about “overcoming the 8 biggest obstacles to lasting connection and real love”. I bought this book from Popular Book Store at KB Mall, costed rm12.90 b4 month of Ramadhan 2006.             The authors (husband and wife, but the husband has conquered all the session in the writing) narrating all about Steven Carter or his experiences in effort to marry Julian Sokol. How difficult himself  to adapt his life with his couples before he met his wife now. He also narrates about others experience to give some example to readers so they could get the issues clearly. This book mentioned When people talk about the “hard work” of relationships, they’re really talking about process of meeting the 8 great challenges are always there. Nor are they stages in a relationship. The challenges are always there.Getting to commitment will show you how to identify and overcome these challenges.

You learn how to:

Stop Blaming – blame keeps u from learning what failed relationship can teach u. Taking responsibility for your feeling and fears, failures and successes, develops the strength u need for commitment.

Say Goodbye to Your Ghosts – say good bye to the “ghosts” of old loves. We all allow our past too much control over our present and future.

Facing the past – and letting it go – is another step on the path to commitment.

Find and Fight For the Self – a successful relationship depends on your discovering, accepting and standing up for yourself. The fear of “losing your independence” may reflect a lack of self-awareness, self-respect or self love. When u truly value yourself u can begin to share that self with others.

Stay Grounded in Reality – the romantic fantasy of finding the “perfect love,” is just that – a fantasy. Real love and real commitment happen between real people in real world.

Allow Yourself to Be Known – if u hide yourself, u deny yourself and your partner the chance to create a truly deep, lasting connection. Risk sharing your thoughts, feelings and history with another, becoming “visible” and vulnerable.

Accept weaknesses in others and yourself – without acceptance there can be no commitment. Eventually everyone reveals their flaws.

Define a New Path – the old path, patterns and habits will not lead u to commitment. Don’t wait for someone else to bring out a better u. u must decide u can act differently in relationship.

Handle Your Anxiety/Fear – commitment is frightening. Intimacy is risky. A relationship does make u vulnerable. Be stronger than your fear  And below are his hopes to all readers;

         when I 1st decided to write this book, I wanted it to be short and sweet: ”out with the old, in with the new, by following  a few easy steps…” and I wanted it to have a very positive and hopeful message because I feel very positive and hopeful about future of relationship. Then the writing began, and I was quickly reminded how complex and multy layered the issue of commitment continuous to be. While I would like to think about process of “getting commitment” as a celebration of the possibility for lasting love, I know more than anything this has been a book about cleaning house,. Old choices, old habits, old fantasies, old programs, old language, old doubts and old fears. All of this has to be boxed, sealed and move out of your path to clear the way to commitment. But once u moves the stuff out of your way, or at least put it into clearer perspective, something extraordinary starts to happen. There is healing, there is understanding, there is forgiveness, there is emotional reorganization. The possibility to real love and commitment slowly blossoms in front of u like a beautiful flower (insya Allah, I keep hoping and praying, may Allah will overwhelm me with this life soon because to me “marriage and family are very important, and I hope that I will soon meet somebody who will help me fulfill these goals” but until now I still never met the guy…believe it I never hv any bf but only acquaintances in order to know each other and then we never involves into serious relation). Something that has seemed so complicated suddenly seems so simple, straightforward and clear. Something that has seemed so foreign suddenly feels so natural and right.Right now, u may be wondering, “how long it will it take to bring commitment into my life?” “How do I know if I’m ready?” “Can I meet the challenges presented by this relationship?” “Is it worth the struggle?” I obviously cannot answer all your question individually with complete prescience, but I can leave u with a short set of rules I hope U will live by own your unique and challenging journey to a committed relationship. Getting to commitment takes:

DESIRE – u must really want a committed relationship, or it wont seem to be worth the work

TIME – a deep love doesn’t happen quickly; when a relationship is real commitment evolves slowly but surely.

ENERGY – no matter how wonderful your partner or how intense the chemistry, a committed relationship requires concentrated effort.

RISK – the willingness to be vulnerable, to open your heart and reveal your secrets, is the core of any committed relationship.

HELP – a little counseling – from friends, family, support groups or professional – can make the difference between a relationship that collapses and one that grows stronger. 

TWO – u may have the desire, time, energy and trust for a committed relationship, but your partner must also; commitment to an uncommitted partner is futile. Getting to Commitment also

TAKES FAITH AND COURAGE hv to believe that a real loving connection with another human being is impossible. Regardless of ur relationship history, regardless of ur family history n in spite of ur fears, u hv to hv faith. Yes, it can b difficult; yes it can feel overwhelming. But know  from ur heart that love is within ur reach. I know from years of experience that this is possible for u. but u hv to bring ur own faith to the table.Real commitment is magical. It will transform u. making a life with someone u love who love u back can only bring out the best in u. The wonderful thing about commitment – the truly amazing thing – is that it gives back so much more than it takes. 

p/s: while I read this book my mind always remember him. Try to avoid but he always comes but now alhamdulillah its under control.

suami isteri dan 26 anak kembar